Keys to Returning to Past Passions
Have you ever been really into some activity, but over time, you got burnt out on it?
Then time passes, and you start to feel its absence. But now you’re out of practice. and you discover there’s a barrier to starting again - because you’re just not at the level you used to be… so why bother?
For example:
It’s harder to start a fitness journey because you can remember how you used to be fitter.
It’s harder to pick up your instrument because you can’t quite get your fingers to move as nimbly as they used to, and you don’t remember the songs.
Part of your mind is telling you “you should be better at this activity!”, but your inability to execute it at that level is driving your frustration through the roof.
And so you’re at a choice point - keep at it as a beginner again or get hooked by those thoughts and feelings and justify giving up.
“That’s all in the past”
“I’ve got more important things to focus on.”
“It’ll take sooo much work to get back to the level I want to be at!”
I get it.
Recently, I reintroduced activities into my life that I used to love to do when I was younger.
I joined a rock climbing gym
I acquired a keyboard allowing me to play piano again.
Here are some of the things I’m pondering as I slowly rebuild my skills.
Know your Why:
Why did I start up these activities again? Simply because I used to love them, I missed them, and I believed I could find enjoyment doing them again.
It can be as simple as “I like it.”
So, if that perfectionist voice comes in causing frustration, I remember to slow down, take a step back and relax. - How can I find the enjoyment in this moment?
Process over Perfection:
Even though some activities are done just for the fun of it. Very often part of the enjoyment of the activity is to get better at it! Developing a skill often increases the feeling of pride in your improved capabilities.
There’s a term called “the rage to master” - you see this often in kids and artists.
This is where you can get obsessed with building a skill, or solving a problem and it no longer looks like casual fun but rather an all-consuming, serious task.
But make no mistake, if you persevere and do breakthrough to the next level, it feels like pure elation!
The trap is to lose perspective if you enter into this realm and get caught in the need for perfection.
Perfection is rooted in shame and carries the story that you need to be perfect or else you lose self-worth. This quickly leads to frustration, burnout, and giving up…
The balance is to find those flow states of “the rage to master” and yet to hold it lightly with the perspective that there is no finish line you need to race across. Even if the breakthrough doesn’t come today, you’ll return tomorrow and do it again - because- if you remember your “why”- you can enjoy the process of engaging in the activity at the same time as challenging yourself to get better.
Sometimes I use a phrase from the Acceptance Commitment Therapy practice that goes:
“Pursue it passionately, but hold it lightly”
At this moment, when I play piano, I sometimes have to alternate between meticulously working on technique and reminding myself to slow down to enjoy simply having my fingers on the keys.
When I go to the climbing gym, I can work out a route like a serious chess game and put all my effort into executing the moves… but if I get tired too quickly or I miss a hold, I remember to smile and laugh for just having the experience.
Play is the key:
If you are learning something for the first time, or endeavoring to regain competency in a long lost activity, what is the best approach: Work hard and take it seriously, or play - making it a game?
Our culture tells us to take things seriously.
But research has shown that play based learning actually helps us learn better and faster!
Why?
If something feels like play or a game, It inspires us to repeat the action.
But, if it feels like work, repetition feels forced.
Play is more engaging and there’s an immediate dopamine reward.
Play also encourages variation which in turn helps us utilize the creative centers in our brains and also helps us integrate things faster.
So, work to gamify your passion!
Even figuring out the question: “How can I make a game of this?” will inspire better learning!
So, when that activity that should be your fun passion starts to feel like work, try those three things:
Remember your why
Connect with the process
And ask “how can I make this a game?”
What have you been longing to get back into but felt blocked from pursuing?
Let’s dream bigger,
Patrick