How to get out of a Donkey Standoff…

The quickest way to get your life to move forward is to approach it from the side. 

Have you ever heard of the donkey standoff? 

You’ll also recognize this reaction in your dog (and I’m pretty sure many animals do this):  

Say you’re trying to lead a donkey somewhere. You take hold of the reigns (leash, rope or whatever is around its neck), you stand right in front of it, and pull. 

What does it do? 

It pulls back in the opposite direction. So you pull harder. It responds by sitting down. And now you’re in a standoff - not going anywhere. 

Life is often like that (we are, in fact,  just like any other animal). 

You’re trying to make yourself focus, stay on task, achieve achieve achieve. And your body and mind respond with being foggy headed, distracted, sleepy, daydreaming, ruminating, worrying… Anything EXCEPT moving in the direction you intended. You’re in a donkey standoff. Pulling harder is not going to get you anywhere, except feeling irritated. 

So what do you do? 

The best animal trainers and human psychologists all know you find a way to join up and get with the animal (or your emotions) instead of coming at them with force and confrontation. You come from the side, and make the animal (or your emotional body) feel safe. You establish trust. Only if you attend to their resistance with kindness first can you then start moving one step at a time. 

The quickest way to move forward is sometimes to approach life from the side, to pause, take perspective of where you are, work to accept how you feel, observe your thoughts, connect with what’s meaningful about moving forward, and getting centered in the present moment, and then take one step… 

To approach yourself like this might seem like a detour. It can be difficult to put the brakes on your agenda. When we feel a scarcity of time, it can be frustrating to slow down amidst your hustle and rush… 

But I’m asking that you consider letting go of your need to pull and push your body where you want to go… because it’s actually much kinder to yourself, and in the end, you’ll get where you want to go much quicker when you let go of the struggle. 

If you want to work on the tools and skills that help you let go of that struggle, consider booking a free consultation.