If You're Tired of the Struggle, a Simple Phrase, a Simple Question…
Today, I want to share a mantra I like to say to myself in difficult moments - whether that’s doing a strenuous hike (which I enjoy) or when I’m avoiding something I don’t want to do (like laundry)…
Breathing in — I relax my body
Breathing out — I smile
Thinking on this moment:
It’s a wonderful moment.
This one comes from Thich Nhat Hanh - I first read it in his book, Being Peace, over twenty years ago. And I come back to it again and again.
Over the years, and through my time studying yoga, I learned lots of mantras and some theory behind them.
[Thomas Ashley-Farrand has some great recordings to help you learn this Vedic based style of mantra if that interests you. ]
Not only are mantras supposed to help focus the mind, but the vibration of sound in the Sanskrit language is purported to have a particular healing power. Also, many mantras deal with the contemplation of self and the nature of the universe… as well as being heavily rooted in Vedic and Hindu Theology/philosophy.
All of that is fine and good. But, if I’m being honest, they always felt a little removed from my lived experience — esoteric — and reciting them, I sometimes felt like I was acting a role - or pretending to believe in something that didn’t really penetrate deeper to who I am and my actual life.
There’s a self-help quality to how some of us approach mantra - just like the approach to prayer - where we are starting from shame and are repeating these words to cajole our minds to change — while begging the divine to elevate us to be more spiritual, pure, and worthy…
[Of course not all people or approaches are like this - and you can find some fascinating discussions around prayer in Caroline Myss’ Work! ]
This is similar to Affirmations - saying positive words to help shift your mindset… sometimes they’re helpful… but just underneath the affirmation is a confirmation — actually strengthening the bond to the negative perception you’re trying to change!
Not to get too heady here - but to be brief - this is just the way our minds work - we’re primed to create mental networks of relationships so when we hear one thing, it’s very easy to bring up the opposite: (near-far, hot-cold, etc.) and when you try to NOT think of something — “don’t think of a white elephant” — no matter what you think of instead will be linked to that very thing you don’t want to think about…
All this to say…
For me, most mantras and affirmations don’t seem to stick- I do enjoy playing along with them from time to time but they stay in the realm of intellectual exercises…
The exception for me has been those words from Thich Nhat Hanh and his tradition…
Why?
I believe it’s because they’re rooted in simple reminders to take action. And they are invitations to open our perceptions and observe.
In other words, the words of the mantra are doable instructions!
Breath in - smile
Breath out - relax
Think of this moment.
Notice what about this moment is wonderful.
Contained in this little verse are all the components of psychological flexibility.
And psychological flexibility is a term that describes a skillset for being more open, aware, and engaged toward a meaningful life.
Six processes or skills are called upon in this little verse:
Connection to your body
Observation of your thoughts
Orientation to the present moment
Flexible perspective taking
Choosing what’s meaningful to you
Taking small actions in service of what’s meaningful
And yet, it’s all contained in simplicity.
For me, it works. It’s simple, doable, repeatable, and I can apply it to a broad range of circumstances.
The result is I’m:
bothered less by worry and anxiety
appreciating my present life more
More effectively working towards my goals.
And here’s my question to you …
Is it working?
Whatever you’ve tried or have been told to do: the workouts, the mental disciplines, the lifestyle hacks, the healing practices…
Are they working? Or are you in the loop of thinking you need to try harder — struggle more?
Is it time to drop the struggle?
These are lessons I’ve learned to bring into my coaching practice:
Let’s not give you complicated practices, exercises, routines.
Let’s not get too bogged down in esoteric philosophy.
The questions that guides us are: Is this workable? Is it making a difference?
Let’s find the simple, practical, doable things you can incorporate into your life that will take you toward your values and goals.
Let’s find a way — a.k.a. Wayfinding — that increases your willingness to be present for the full range of experiences that your body, mind, and circumstances are giving you while taking effective steps toward what makes life meaningful.
If you’d like to talk about dropping the struggle, moving more freely in you body, and taking steps toward living more fully, consider booking a Free Alignment Wayfinding Session.
Until then,
Breathe in - relax
Breath out - smile
This moment - a wonderful moment.
Patrick